The Cat Returns
by Laverva McGown
Summary: Sequel to The Half Cat. He though he was cured, but after an extraordinary (and irritating) turn of events, Ciel ends up back at square one. Rated for Language.


**So OOC. Very OOC. Did I say OOC? I did? Good.**

* * *

I sit on the examination table and glower at the room's other occupants.

"Why," I begin, tail twitching, "Did you bother to come _all the way _down to where I live, snatch me, just to put a bloody needle in me?" I glare at the offending item in question; long, sharp and connected by a series of wires to a large...whatever-it-is, it is stuck in my shoulder. It doesn't hurt, but the sheer _size _of the damned this is rather unnerving...

"How did you even _get _a needle this big?" I raise my hand to prod at the massive thing, only to have my hand slapped away.

"Uh-uh!~" Undertaker shakes his head, "Leave it in for a bit longer!~"

"Would it satisfy you if I said that you've drawn a _lot _of blood by now?" At this, the other reaper (Grell...) in the room grins broadly and yanks the needle out, which hurts. I place a hand over the small puncture wound as Undertaker wipes the needle clean.

"What do you even want with all that, anyway?" I look at the container that, for lack of a better word, _contains _the red liquid, "I don't have revolutionary blood, as far as I can tell-!"

"Ah, that's where you're wrong!~" Undertaker fiddles with a wire, "Seeing as you're...not exactly human anymore-."

"I wonder whose fault _that _is?" I sneer, giving Grell a glare.

"-I wanna see if your blood's changed because of this, and if it has, I'll just drain you and create a hoard of...well, people like you!~"

I roll my eyes; death-threats are nothing new, "And if there is nothing spectacular about my blood?"

"I'll kill you anyway; you irritate me!~"

"Ah."

"And before you say anything," Grell pulls me into a one-armed hug, which repulses me, "I have made this place _especially special_; Sebas-chan will _never _find it!~"

"...?" I focus for a minute, closing my eyes, "...nothing." I open my eyes again and stare at Undertaker, "How'd you make this place like...it is?"

"Well, we don't _particularly _like demons around here, so naturally, we've demon-proofed the place!~" he looks up from his wires and grins.

"..you can do that?"

"Duh," I look at Grell, who is rolling his eyes, "If we couldn't do _that_, of all things, we'd be slaughtered by now!~"

I mull over this information, but I am ripped from my thoughts by a curse from the grey-haired reaper, who is looking into an object of some sorts. I can hear faint shouting and roaring, which is rather disconcerting.

"...look," Grell, after peering into whatever Undertaker is holding, turns to me, "...We're gonna pretend you're dead and stuff, so that he'll be nicer on us-!"

"What-!?"

"-So, I'm sorry, but I have to do the following to you-!~"

x-x-x-x-xx-x-x-x-x-x

Opening my eyes, I wince at the sudden light. My head throbs, so I gingerly press my fingers against the painful spot.

_Ow._

I pull my fingers back and stare at them; blood covers them. I wrinkle my nose in disgust at the sight and I push myself to my feet, looking around. I appear to be in some sort of field – a wheat one, if I'm not mistaken – and a body of water is in front of me.

"God...that was close!~"

I look sharply to my left and I feel my eyes widen; Grell flounces up to me and pets my head. I try to push his hand off, but fail miserably, so I satisfy myself with asking what the fuck happened.

"Well, I sort of wounded you a bit – you know, a minor head wound, a bruised arm, a few minor cuts and scrapes – the usual – , and then I teleported us away to..." he frowns then, and I feel a small seed of worry develop.

"Please tell me you know where we are..."

"..." he gives me an apologetic look, "I just realized that I have no idea where we are, actually!~"

"...are you fucking serious?"

"My bad!~"

I groan and flop down onto the grass, wincing at the action, "Really!? You were just like "K then I'll just teleport away and hopefully not get lost and shit- oh wait oops!~"!?" I turn my head and glare at the reaper, "I'm blaming you for all of this, you know that, right?"

"It's hardly all _my _fault-!"

"Of course it is! _You _were the one who decided to _take me in the middle of a damn street_, and _you _were the one who jabbed that needle in my arm! _And_," I add, narrowing my eyes, "_You _were the one who came with the whole 'we're gonna pretend you're dead, K?'!"

"...point taken, but-."

"No buts!" I roll onto my back, "You _can _get us back, right?"

"Ah. About that..."

I sit up suddenly.

"...Seb-!"

"N-no!" Grell covers my mouth frantically, "I can still get us back – the _long _way! Just, come on, _don't _call Sebastian, _please_!" he removes his hand from my mouth.

"It depends, if you get me home by tonight I'll say nothing." I give him a look of sheer superiority and he sighs long-sufferingly, moving to pick me up.

"Fine...we'd best get going then, yes?" He leaps off before I can reply and I close my eyes against the wind, _damn he can move fast!_

I risk a glance down and I feel my face drain of colour; the grassy planes below are mere smudges of green on the ground (_is he flying...ok I won't ask) _and some _birds _are flying underneath us, which is quite disconcerting, and I look up again to stop being sick everywhere.

"Don't look down~," I hear Grell trill, and I manage to give him a sour look.

"Thanks for telling me."

"No problem-oh shit-!"

The last thing I see is something black and white.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I groan and open my eyes; I recognise where I am immediately and say-

"_Mrr!~_"

I freeze and slowly look down; a wooden surface covered in suspicious-looking red blotches and black markings is underneath me, but that doesn't bother me. What _does _is the following.

_I have paws._

"Kitty!~~" I jump and am suddenly crushed against a foul-smelling body, "You've awoken!~~ Thank God, I was worried!"

I hiss and glare at the person, _Of course it's you.._

"You're probably wondering what's happened to you, little Earl!~" Undertaker grins wider than usual, "From what Grell told me, your aggressive demon rocked up and tried to take you back. Instead of giving you to him like a _sane_ reaper, he fled and your demon took chase. Then, he dropped you-!~"

_HE DID WHAT!?_

"-And you must have become a cat again because you almost died!~"

_I THOUGHT YOU CURED ME YOU BASTARD. And how would being a cat increase my chances of survival!?_

"You're probably wondering why being a cat would help you. Well, so am I, but you're here so now all is right with this messed-up world!~" he pets me, much to my complete and utter disgust, "But...what can I do with you now?~"

A soft laugh comes from his lips, and my stomach clenches at the sound. He leers down at me and, putting his nose inches from mine, says in a voice that says volumes about how smart he thinks his idea's gonna be,

"I know, little Earl!~ I'll sell you as a pet!~ If your demon comes along, at least I'll get paid!~"


End file.
